5 Ways to be a Better Twitter Spammer

Ever notice that spam has a way of making its way into any new medium, particularly after that medium starts to hit critical mass. Sadly, microblogging tool/service, Twitter, is now experiencing the joy of "get rich" or "get women" messages from people we don't know and don't care to know. Rather than complain, I'm going to try and fix it. How? I'm going to tell the spammers how they can do their job better. Plus, I promised Peter Kim that I'd do this post as he's tired of the same old "he same asian girl01 showing me how to make $4k monthly" tweets.

So listen up all you Twitter spammers because here are five ways you can be more succesful getting your message out to the masses:

1. STOP putting numbers at the end of your twitter handles. The second you do that, there's at least a 98% chance that you're a spammer and that I'm not even going to look at your profile nevermind follow you. I know it's easier to write a program that takes a name and adds new digits onto it but technology has evolved to the point where you could get more clever. For instance, run a query against the list of top names in the Social Security database and add it to common last names like Smith, Johnson and Williams. That's good for at least several thousand new accounts right there.
2. When you spam people, put a few real tweets in between your spammy "Just Posted: Getting a Girl - Getting The Girls + SPAM URL" tweet (thanks to spammer @datingschool for the example). For instance, a few "watching the latest episode of The Office" or "just downloaded the latest Coldplay album" would help add a little credibility to your account.
3. As a follow on to tip number 2, try @-ing a few folks, even if they're fake accounts. I can tell in about 1 second that either a) you're a spammer or b) you don't know how to use Twitter if I scan your tweets and none of them are directed toward anyone.
4. STOP using the picture of the hot girl as your avatar. While I appreciate the asthetics of an attractive woman when I click on your profile link, I am immediately skeptical of any account where the picture is of model-esque, scantily clad young woman. Try picture of a 35 year old guy once in a while. Or a slightly overweight woman. It's all about being authentic!
5. Work a little harder on your follower/followee ratio. When I see that you're following 1,723 people and are being followed back by 36, it's pretty easy to tell that you're a spammer. While I know it will take longer to build a more respectible ratio, it will be worth it to get people to read your message.

How many spammers do you think will read this post? Probably zero. But it was worth a shot. Am I missing any good tips or tricks that you can think of that would help our spammer friends?